Fused Vertebrae, Alien Autographs, and Finishing the Ropes Course
Be Strong and of Good Courage
A few weeks ago I was asked to provide leadership at a camp for young men at Elk Neck State Park. After I had completed my assignment, I drove home – but something seemed unfinished, like an itch that I just couldn’t scratch. This led me to call a good friend of mine who was heading up to the camp to replace me. He was more than happy to give me a ride, so we grabbed some fuel – for his minivan – as well as fuel for ourselves and headed back up to the MD-DE border.
We arrived after dark, I let him borrow one of the battery-operated fans I brought since it was literally hotter than hell, took half a Benadryl for my allergies and to help me sleep – hoping I wouldn’t sleep thru breakfast like I did the day before – and went to sleep.
The next morning, not far from Elk Neck State Park is Go Ape Ropes course.
This was the reason I drove 90 minutes home and rode 90 minutes back to camp that night.
Why was this any different than any other person going on a Ropes course? Why, yes. It was.
family history / childhood memories
three fused vertebrae
FAMILY HISTORY - I AM DOING IT?
So context helps explain some things. To that end, here are some common challenges with blended families:
Sibling Rivalry
Identity Confusion
Mixed Feelings About a Stepparent
Legal Disputes
Financial Difficulties
Territorial Infringement
Feeble Family Bonds.
Scheduling Challenges
Adjusting to a New Routine (source)
Apprehension About Remarriage
Conflict With Stepchildren
Disagreements About New Family Rules
Tense Relationships Among Step-siblings
Neglecting Co-Parenting Responsiblities (source)
One of my older brothers, Brother 3 – when he was a teenager – was asked to stay at a Behavioral Health facility called Benchmark in Centerville, UT. He had served in leadership positions in FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America), DECA which builds emerging leaders and entrepreneurs, and had won awards in multiple competitions, including starting his own business, Alien Autographs – where he’d provide customers with signatures of extra-terrestrials.
Many years later I asked him why he was asked to stay at Benchmark. He wasn’t sure but suggested it may have been because he wanted to leave public school and attend home school, which our father said no to. Brother 3 was taller than most teenagers so at Benchmark one of the other residents would beat him up. I asked Brother 3 whey he didn’t fight back. He told me that the assailant’s Dad beat up policemen – that’s why he didn’t fight back which he was more than able to do.
This was Brother 3.
Brother 1 according to our Dad locked the door at the bottom of the stares and said no one was allowed in the basement – after my Dad’s second marriage. Consequently Brother 1 was flown to Colorado to “visit” my aunt. Upon learning from my mother that Brother 1’s visit was in fact not a visit but kind of a “please let me son attend high school and live with you for 2-3 years” she purchased a return flight ticket and sent Brother 1 back to his Dad in Utah. Upon learning this, Dad met Brother 1 at the airport and flew him back to Colorado where he’d live with grandma for a few years, attend George Washington High School, graduate with highest honors and then attend BYU.
Brother 2 moved in with our Mom after the divorce.
Brother 3 apparently unable/unwilling to be flown to Colorado ran away (i.e. took a city bus) to my mom’s house and lived there, attending public school there at Woods Cross High School in Bountiful, UT. Eventually the police visited and took Brother 3 either back to my Dad’s home or to Benchmark. As a young child at the time I wasn’t told much about what was happening.
We had visited Brother 3 a few times while he stayed at Benchmark. Once or twice it was for a useless group therapy with the blended family. “Why am I the odd one out?” was generally Brother 3’s question. I don’t recall anyone adequately answering that.
Part of our visits included Family Day where all the visitors and their families would meet up. One exercise we did was trust falls. I wanted to go last. All my siblings and stepsiblings (whom I would not trust with a butter knife let alone with the responsiblity of catching me) took thier turns. No problems, Looked like everyone was having fun.
Then all eyes were on me. “It’s part of the program;” “It’ll be fun;” “It shows you trust those in your family / blended family” were some suggestions shared with me. Eventually as a young child I started crying. I said, “No. I’m not doing that,” as I didn’t trust my stepsiblings nor their mother nor the strangers that were there with us. Brother 3 and a counselor pulled me aside and talked to me.
“It’s alright. You don’t have to do it. I still love you.” Brother 3 repeated word for word what the counselor told him, possibly due to medications given him which were manufactured by Big Pharma, housing the companies that have paid the largest criminal fines in history.
After that the Ropes course was next up.
I passed on that as well but Brother 3 and several of my siblings completed it which I’m very proud of them for. Brother 3 told me each time he completed the Ropes course, cars on the freeway next to the facility would honk in support and encouragement of his achievement. I’m grateful he was so brave.
FUSED VERTEBRAE
About 20 years before I served at Elk Neck State Park, in my naïveté I was involved in an accident involving snow, ice, inertia, and unfortunately gravity - which resulted in three fused vertebrae. The surgeon said I was 2 centimeters away from being paralyzed from the waist down.
In post-op (after surgery) a Morphine IV was connected to my arm. Once every 15 minutes a small drop would be administered. It didn’t seem to be working as my fused vertebrae, for lack of a better word, hurt – a LOT.
After I called my girlfriend and tried to explain why I wouldn’t be at her New Year’s Eve party, the Morphine sent me into cardiac arrest. My Dad was in the hospital room and told the nurse that my fingernails were turning blue. She hit the button for the Code Blue alarm which signaled the nearby doctors and nurses that I was in cardiac arrest.
They applied Narcan which is used to treat heroin narcotic overdose in an emergency situation. This saved my life – BUT also neutralized all of the painkilling medication in my body. Waking up with an hours-old fused vertebrae was the closest I’ve ever felt to being “racked with eternal torment (Alma 36:12).” I felt like shouting as David did: Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice (Psalm 51:8). I literally tried to stand up and walk away hoping to leave the new excruciating pain in the hospital bed behind me.
(Ouch.)
This injury led me to serve in more Boy Scouts of America leadership positions than I would have otherwise. This injury also led me to engage in snowmobiling, surfing, hiking and biking much more than I would have without the injury.
BE STRONG
So we arrived at Go Ape, got our bracelets, completed the safety briefing, connected our harnesses, and away we went.
I encouraged the young men in front of me and behind me – praying somehow that encouragement would bounce back and encourage me.
Not wanting an asterisk by my name on the list of people who completed the course, I persisted.
(An asterisk is something put by participants’ names who don’t fully complete the course or complete it with help or skip a few obstacles. Though perhaps there should have been an asterisk for Benchmark or a secon asterisk fro my fused vertebrae?)
Two to three hours later I completed the original Treetop Adventure in the canopy which included 40 obstacles, 50-foot-high tree-to-tree crossings, super long ziplines (up to 700 feet) over Lums Pond (huge lake) and heart-stopping Tarzan swings - which I did even though some young men skipped this.
Each zipline was so long that I ended up completing most of them backwards - which triggered my fear/panic button due to my back injury. WIth a lot of effort I was abel to swing around a few times so I was facing forward - straight into the mulch piles.
The adrenaline and its aftereffects stayed with me for days.
Now all I can do is think about doing another Ropes course – perhaps even the course at Benchmark.
Deuteronomy 31:7 Be strong and of a good courage